I didn't chose to be quiet... I didn't chose to be silent... Past events makes me what I am. I knew being quiet has advantages. I knew being quiet can make opportunities past by. I knew I cannot be quiet for long... I need to speak up. Sooner or later, it had to be done. You might say past is past, and present is present. And that I can leave the past and change immediately. It's not that easy... Easier said than done. People tend to take things that never happened to them for granted. So they'd think changing is as easy as blinking... I know, because I've done that to others before... And people have done that to me.
When I was 11, my mom sent me for a course that promotes self confidence and self appreciation, in a bid to get me to be confident of tackling the problems that will arise in the future... And of course... to be able to communicate with people. It was called ECTC... Just opposite Sunway Pyramid. I've changed alot since after those lessons, and I should thank them for changing my life.
After those lessons, I've known how to take initiatives... to create opportunities for myself. I remember the time I was in Form 3... Signed myself up for a chess competition... I remembered telling my mom about it... Her reply was :"Do lesser of those unnecessary things la... concentrate on your studies, PMR is near." Indeed... but not so near... I still remember it was June... Despite my mom telling me this, I still went for it... First round, I was nervous... with my confidence and my knowledge in chess, I thought I could beat a Form 6 guy... That game took 1 and a half hour... While playing... 20% of my mind thinking what my mom said... Her words echoed in my head... Not comfortable at all... And that 80% is just not enough... I couldn't think fast... i couldn't think straight... The room was hot... I was sweating... No water breaks... 1 and a half hour later, I lost... I went to told my mom later that night... Her response was the same... "Lose it la... It do you no good. Study."...... There was a second round... But I lost it in just 15 minutes...
The loses was just unbearable... Believe me... Especially when the person closest to you doesn't support you... All I wanted then was to get myself into the limelight, boost my confidence to at least win the first round... Glory, fame, and attention... I asked myself, is that really what I want? Especially glory... I believe I was chasing a dream... A dream that I can only achieve by myself... A dream that just one person's support could've change everything. I shouldn't have told mom... I should just go on with it by myself... Getting shut off like that by your mom... Your own mom... Imagine that...
I didn't write this post to condemn my mom. I didn't write this post to say my life would've been better if I've won the chess competition... I wrote it to tell the people out there who read this, to give the people close to you moral support. It's the least you can do. It doesn't need money. Nor it needs you to run 11km. Or drive 362km down south... It just requires you to say "Go for it". From your very voicebox... From that very little joules you'll need just to utter that 3 words... From you... As long as it's not the negatives... Someone would be filled with confidence and be able to achieve great things... For a greater good.
Life's not just about yourself, it also involves the people around you.
(You are just one person. You can do many things to solve global warming if you give support to yourself and the people around you.)
